A lot of these came from e-mails sent by friends of mine (thanks guys :), and they just crack me up every time I hear them!
I knew a blond that was so stupid that......
She called me to get my phone number.
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said 'concentrate.'
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She tried to drown a fish.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
She studied for a blood test, but still failed.She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
When she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said 'Airport Left', she turned around and went home
Why aren't blondes hired for elevator jobs?
Because they can't remember the route.
Did you hear about the blonde who almost killed her toy poodle?
She tried to insert batteries.
A senior in college took his blonde girlfriend to a football game. As the game started, he said, "Watch the guy wearing number 15. I expect him to be our best man next year."
"Oh, Honey," she said. "That's such a cleaver way to propose. I accept!"
This blonde went to the pizza place and ordered a pizza. The pizza guy asked her if she wanted it cut into six pieces or twelve.
“Oh, six,” she said. “I could never eat twelve pieces.”
During her company's periodic password audit, a blond employee was found to be using this password:
GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonald
When she was asked why she had such a long password, she said, "The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital."
A blonde was asked what the capital of California was. “That’s easy,” she said. “It’s C.” A blonde was driving down the highway when she read a sign saying, "Clean Restrooms Next 10 Miles." She was really late for her appointment since there were 26 restrooms to clean.
While waiting at a cross walk for the light to change, a blonde asked why the signal was buzzing. When she was told that it was to let blind people know when the light was red, she replied, "What in the world are blind people doing driving?"
Did you hear about the blonde who called the county to have the Deer Crossing sign removed from her road? It seems that too many deer were being hit by cars.
How do you know a blond has been in your office? There is white-out on your computer screen.
Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
Did you hear about the blonde who returned a scarf to the store because it was too tight?
Why shouldn't blondes have work breaks?
It takes too long to re-train them.
What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.
Thanks again to all my friends who sent these great jokes! You guys are great! :D
Ah...I just LOVE blonde jokes!
ReplyDeletelol, yeah i have you to thank for for most of them! :)
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